First of all, Happy 2013! Second, my husband has decided on his own that he is going to try being a vegan and I could not be happier. This means no dairy, meat, eggs or animal products. I did this before we were married for about 6 months and I honestly felt amazing. I can not wait to do it again, but obviously I have to wait until this baby is born. Until then, I am going to support my husband in his ventures and create some amazingly tasty recipes. So the recipe portion of my site is going to become really awesome in the months to come. Check it out!  

So as far as why we would want to be vegan...that is a lot of explaining and really good information...most of which I am not prepared to post today. but I will get on that and post some good info very soon. That will be part II of this post. But don't judge it til you try it :)

Other than that, I wanted to catch up with the posts because it has been a while. And for those of you that read what I write because you love Zion more than me (that's ok. I love him more than me too), then here is what is going on in the life of the shortest, bossiest person in the world. Christmas with a 2 and a half year old was exciting. It was just as fun for Ish and I having a kid on Christmas morning than it was being a kid on Christmas morning.  I think we were up before him, so excited for him to see his presents. The night before Christmas, he stayed up late, running in circles, chanting "SANTA, SANTA, SANTA". He could not contain his excitement. 

On Christmas morning he looked at the gifts and just stood there...I  think he was afraid to come in the room! He had never seen anything like it. And my favorite thing about this Christmas with Zion: He calls the Christmas tree, the "Christmas Treat". I love it!

We are now over 13 weeks pregnant. It has taken a while to sink in, but I'm still as sick as always and my pants don't fit so I'm pretty sure we can get excited now! We took a test we bought at Walgreens to see if it is a boy or a girl. It says on the box that it is 90% accurate, but I'm pretty sure it is only 50% accurate and that is because there are only 2 answers so it's gotta be right once in a while. But a lot of people say it worked for them...so maybe it does Well, it told us it's a girl :)  I'm not decorating for a girl based off of it, but it was fun anyway and I do feel in my heart that it could be a girl. We will see. 

2012 is not a year I would like to re-live and so we welcome 2013! We are hoping to get into a house in the next few months (so Zion can have a yard to run around in). We are looking forward to the birth of our baby, to being healthier this year, and to all of the beautiful things that 2013 will bring. 

And every new year I am reminded (thank you, Pastor Aaron), that I do not need a resolution for the new year. I need a revelation. If I have a resolution, I can change what's on the outside and maybe I can make myself feel better, but if I have a revelation of who Christ is then I can never again be the same from the inside out. Yes, I need a revelation. 

This is it in a nutshell. This is exactly what has been eating at me:
Impatience

I want to have another baby. I want to go back to school. I want Zion to stop growing up so fast. I want to be at a place where we are more financially secure.  I want....I WANT...

There comes a point where all of this wanting is making me very weary. I'm tired of wanting.  

One thing I don't want...I don't want to turn 30 next month.  However, I want time to move faster so I can accomplish the list above. I have a lot of demands. I'm like the spoiled little kid with her hand in the jar who can't get her hand out because she won't let go of the "prize" she thinks she is going to be able to pull out of that jar.  If she would only open her hand and let go...then maybe she could be free from the jar. 

You would think that by now, with all of the faithfulness God has shown me, that I would just realize that he ALWAYS takes care of me.  He always delivers what he promises. He ALWAYS fulfills the desires of my heart. He has never left me alone. Yet, I still doubt.  I'm still impatient.

I have become lazy. Waiting is too much work. Instead of keeping faith that my God is and always has been faithful to me, I have decided that I can't wait for my perfect God to come through. I have decided instead to whine and pout and feel sorry for myself;  Sorry for myself that I only have one child.  Sorry for myself that I do not see the kind of progress in my career or my mothering skills, or my home, or our finances that I want.  Sorry for myself that I don't have MY way in MY timing. 

God! Help me! Teach me to wait on you.  Your timing is perfect.  I know this first hand.  I know this because in your perfect timing, you sent me my husband.  In your perfect timing you gave me Zion.  In your perfect timing you ordered my life.  And when I put all of this impatience aside, I realize that my life is beautiful.  My family is perfect.  My husband is amazing and my Son is beautiful. How is it, with all of the prayers that I prayed for years answered, I can still find myself wanting for more and putting a time limit on your plan for me, God?  

I want to stop wanting.  I need to stop evaluating my life in terms of MY timeline.  God's timeline is perfect for me. He knows what is best for me. HE knows exactly what he is doing! And I am determined to WAIT.